Comments on: Best Blonde Joke Wins 10 Points!?

By: Lucifer J Satan

Lucifer J Satan — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:42:39 +0000

What’s the first thing a blonde says after sex?
What team were you guys again?
What do peroxide blondes and jumbo jets have in common?
They both have black boxes.
What do you call a brunette standing between 2 blondes?
An interpreter.
How can you tell when a woman has a blonde boyfriend?
The bruising around her belly button.
Man goes into the kitchen after having sex with his blonde girlfriend. His old fella’s feeling a bit used and sore so he decides to soothe it by dipping it in a glass of cold milk. his girlfriend walks in sees him and says, “so that’s how you refill it!”

By: John

John — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:42:39 +0000

DEAR DIARY:
It’s fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.
Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can’t say it improved the rice any.
Today Tom asked for salad again I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy).For some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.
Tom’s folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with chocolate moose.
Joke Num 2-
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell she has a grenade in her mouth.
What’s the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot.
What did the blonde say after her doctor told her she was pregnant? “Is it mine?”
How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day? Her tampon is behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday. ________________________________________…
A blonde and her brunette friend were talking, when the blonde said, “I hate all the blonde jokes people tell.”
“Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I’ll prove it to you.”
They went outside and hailed a taxi driver.
“Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I’m home,” said the brunette.
The taxi drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, the brunette looked at the blonde and said, “See! That guy was really stupid.”
“No kidding,” replied the blonde. “There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead.”

By: william r

william r — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:42:39 +0000

ok: So a blonde drove her car through a hail storm, and the car got a bunch of dents in it. Taking the car to a auto shop the blonde asks the attendent to look at the car and tell her how much it would cost to take all the dents out of the car. The guy, seeing that she’s a blonde decided to have a little fun with her, so he told her that “if she took the car home and blew into the exaust pipe then that would pop the dents out.” So the blonde drove home and started blowing into the exaust pipe, she blew and blew, but the dent would not pop out. After awhile one of her friends, another blonde, came walking by, and asked what she was doing. The first blonde told her friend that the guy at the auto place said to blow into the exaust pipe and it would pop the dents out. The friend looked at her and said, “Well duh! ya gotta roll up the windows first.”

By: LiLi =]

LiLi =] — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:42:39 +0000

Wow I got a lot =]
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a came home with a new blonde joke. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn’t dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke. She says, “I’m not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me.”
He thought for a moment and asked, “What is the capital of Massachusetts?”
She quickly replied, “M”
**************************************…
A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
“Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.”
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette, are you?”
She says, “No, I’m really a blonde.”
“I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.”
**************************************…
There was a Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead standing on the beach. They had decided the previous evening whilst in the pub to try and swim the English channel. After some discussion, they decided the quickest way would be to do the breast stroke, so off they set.
One day later the Redhead reached the French coast. Having lost sight of the other two swimmers just off the English coast she decided that they couldn’t be far behind so sat on the beach looking out to sea waiting for the other two.
After a cold night of waiting, the Brunette finally came into sight. “What took you so long?” inquired the Redhead.
“There were some strong currents out there! But I’m here now! Am I the last?” replied the Brunette.
“No. Blondie is still out there somewhere.” They decided to wait.
Day after day the two swimmers sat on the beach until on the 5th day Blondie came into view. Once on dry land the Brunette asked the blonde “What took you so long?”
“What do you expect? You guy’s cheated, replied the idignant blonde, “You used your hands!”
**************************************…
After a bizarre cliff side accident, all eleven members of the women’s outing found themselves hanging perilously from a rope over the edge of the cliff. Ten of the women were blondes and one was a brunette.
After dangling there for a only a short while it became obvious that the rope would not hold all their collective weight. They decided that to prevent the rope snapping and killing them all, one of them must sacrifice themselves and let go, to save the others.
Well they talked about it for a while but no-one could decide a fair way of of choosing who should jump. Finally, the brunette, exasperated by the indecisiveness of the blondes, could see that if nobody acted soon the rope was going to snap.
To save the others she bravely decided that it must be her who made the sacrifice. She plucked up a little courage and told the others that she would jump to save them.
After giving a short but very moving speech that she hoped would be remembered after she’d gone, the blondes were so moved that they all started clapping
I GUESS THAT’S IT! HOPE YOU LIKED THEM ♥♥♥

By: Boog is sorry

Boog is sorry — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:42:39 +0000

How do you tell if a blonde was in the frige?
Red rings on the cucumbers.
lol

By: sue dean

sue dean — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:42:39 +0000

this blonde went into a beauty shop to get a hair cut. she had on a set of head phones and she told the beautician not to take them off to cut her hair. well the beautician tried to cut around the head phones but was having a difficult time when she noticed the blonde had fallen asleep. so she sees her chance to give her a good hair cut, so she slowly removes the head phones and finishes cutting her hair. then she shakes the blonde to wake her up but she doesn’t respond, she tries again, nothing. the blonde is dead! the beautician is in shock, she puts the headphones on and this is what she hears, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, ha, ha

By: ஜBECஜ ~Mama to Lucy & bump~

ஜBECஜ ~Mama to Lucy & bump~ — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:42:39 +0000

A few of my favourites…sorry it’s soooooo long
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, “I have a complaint!”
“Yes, Ma’am?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book.”
**************************************…
Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.
“Easy, ” she replied. “He only has one eye.”
The chief was stunned. “He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!” He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.
“He only has one ear, ” was her answer.
“What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!” He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, “How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer.”
After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, “He’s wearing contact lenses.”
This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn’t tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, “How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!”
“Well, ” she said, “he can’t wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?”
**************************************…
A blond gets a new cell phone from her husband.
The next day she goes to Wal-mart and her phone rings, so she answers it.
It was her husband. He says, “How’s the new cell phone?”
She replied, “Great…but how did you know I was at Wal-mart?”
**************************************…
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and
smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living
room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks
what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him
that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by
painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they said….
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
AND FINALLY
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,”Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closetfloor.
You rotten bastard, “says the husband,”my wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!!!

By: 恒健

恒健 — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:42:39 +0000

There is a redhed, brunett and a blonde walking up a road. Soon, they find a mirror right before them. In the mirror appereared a face. The face sed “tell me a tru fact and u will have one wish granted, tell me a lie, u will get zapped to hell”
The short redhead goes first- she says”I think I am the tallest girl ever” ZAAPP
Then the brunetts goes- she says “I think I am the prettiest girl ever” ZAAP
Finally the blonde goes “I think….” ZAAP

By: ☼♫ д ββ ♫☼

☼♫ д ββ ♫☼ — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:42:39 +0000

okies
there were a blonde,brunette and a redhead vandalising a wall. The polic came so they all his in a hessian sack.
The policeman thought they heard movement so they looked around.
the policeman thought that people were in the sacks.
So he kicked the 1st sack ( where the brunette was hiding) The brunette said “meow, meow” like a cat and the policeman thought it was a cat.
He kicked the 2nd sack. ( where the redhead was hiding) and the redhead said “woof woof” like a dog so the policaman thought it was a dog.
He kicked the 3rd sack ( where the blonde was hiding) and the blonde said ” potatoes potatoes”
LOL SO FUNNY AYY

By: its_ janie

its_ janie — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:42:39 +0000

a blonde was siting on the floor doing a puzzle. she was having a hard time so she called her boyfriend for help. he asked,”what picture is it supposed to make?” the blonde replied,”a tiger” her boyfriend said he was on his way to her house to help. when he finally came, he looked at the floor and said,”u have to put away the frosted flakes.” u might have already heard it before