What Your Best Blonde Joke You Have Heard?
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Loading ...Plz give us a giggle and tell me some of the best blonde jokes you have heard in your life time…
thanks x
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a blonde cant figure out a jigsaw so she calls her boyfriend and he asks her what does the cover look like and she says a rooster. the boyfriend comes over and he looks at the cover and says ok lets have a cup of tea and put the cornflakes back in the box
Three Blonde’s where discussing what they would do if the plane they were travelling in went down in the Atlantic ocean.
First Blonde said she would wear Orange panties so they could see her face-down in the water.
Second Blonde said she would wear white panties so they could see her face-down in the water.
Third Blonde said she would wear no panties at all,
“Cos they always look for the black box first”
A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, ”T-G-I-F” (letters only).
He smiled at her and replied, ”S-H-I-T” (letters only).”
She looked at him, puzzled, and said, ”T-G-I-F” again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, ”S-H-I-T.”
The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly ”T-G-I-F” another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, ”S-H-I-T.”
The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, ”T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It’s Friday, get it?”
The man answered, ”Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”
Here’s a dumb blonde joke about a GUY!
Three men worked together for a construction company, an italian, a mexican, and a blonde. Everyday they took their lunch break together and sat on the fifteenth floor of the building they were constructing.
Everyday, they all had the same things to eat for lunch. One day, the Italian guy opened his lunch and saw that, once again, he had lasagna. He said, “Lasagna AGAIN! If I get lasagna for lunch one more time, I’m going to jump off this building and kill myself.”
The Mexican opened his lunch and agreed. “Enchiladas again. If I get enchiladas one more time for lunch, I’ll jump off the roof and kill myself too!”
The blonde opened his lunch and said, “Bologna! Again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off the roof and kill myself!”
The next day they all ate lunch together again. The Italian guy opened his lunch, saw the lasagna, and jumped off the roof and killed himself.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw the enchiladas, jumped off the roof and killed himself.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw a bologna sandwich, and jumped off the roof and killed himself.
They had a joint funeral. Each wife spoke. The italian guy’s wife was crying and said, “If only I’d known he hated lasagna! I would have made him spaghetti or fettaccini!”
The Mexican guy’s wife was crying as well. She said, “If only I’d known he hated enchiladas! I would have made tacos or burritos!”
It was the blonde guy’s wife’s turn to speak. She was not crying at all. Everyone looked at her expectantly and she said, “Don’t look at me…he made his own lunch.”
Q. How to entertain a blonde:
A. wright “please turn over” on both sides of a paper.
Q.Why do blondes where panties?
A. they make good ankle warmers.
a blonde got pulled over for speeding. the trafic oficer pulled out is dick the moment he saw her….she replied angrily: “Oh no! Not another breathalizer test!!!”
Haha, I’ll tell you a true story. Last week, I was talking to my blond friend online about track and she was like, “Oh, you’re in track?” and I was like, “Yeah” and she was like, “Do you run?”
Hmm, let’s see… okay, I got a couple story ones.
1.) There once where three girls trapped on an island. A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde Some natives found them, captured them, and took them back to their camp. When they got there, the chief said to them, “Go out into the jungle and find three of a certain food. We’re going to shove them up your butt and if you make ANY emotion, we will kill you.” So the three girls went. The redhead came back with three oranges. They shoved one and she cried in pain, so they killed her. The brunette came back with three apples. They shoved one, two, and half of the third one until she laughed. They were about to kill her, but before they did they asked, “Why did you laugh? You were so close!” And she replied, “I just saw the blond coming with 3 pineapples.”
2.) Three girls died in a car crash and went to heaven. A redhead, a brunette, and a blond. They meet St. Peter at a pair of stairs. At the top are the gates of heaven. “On every step, you will hear one joke, and if you laugh, you go to hell.” He said. They all got up to the 4th step when the redhead laughed. She went down to hell, and the brunette and the blond kept going. The brunette got to the 50th step when she started laughing. She went down to hell, and the blond kept going. The blond got all the way to the last step, after there were no more jokes, and she started laughing! She went down to hell as well. The brunette and the redhead asked why she laughed and she replied, “I finally got the first joke.”
3.) Three girls are stuck on an island. A redhead, a brunette, and a blond. Suddenly, a genie appeared and said, “I will grant you each one wish and one wish only.” The redhead said, “I wish to go back home to my family” and she was gone. The brunette said, “I wish to go back to my apartment to my friends.” and she was gone. The blond started crying and the genie asked, “What’s wrong?” And she replied, “I wish my friends were back with me!”
XD I hope you enjoyed those. I have more, but I took up a lot of room
try these
A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says,
1. “Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would’ve hit me right in the face!!!”
2. “Good thing that cows don’t fly.”
————————————–…
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said “Oh, look at the deer tracks.” The other blonde looks and says “Those aren’t deer tracks, those are wolf tracks.” “No. Those are deer tracks.” They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.
————————————–…
Help, the titanic is going to be drowned! Everybody in the ship is shouting,crying,running or praying to god. Just then an Italian asks the nearby blonde in the ship.
Italian: How far is the land, from here?
Blonde: Two miles.
Italian: Only two miles? Then Why are those fools making noise. I have got the experiance of swimming even more.
The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the surface to ask something again.
Italian: Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here?
Blonde : Downwards.
————————————–…
a Blonde to Mark: I want to marry you.
Mark: But I am one year elder to you.
Blonde: No problem, then I will marry you next year.
————————————–…
A blonde was drawing money from ATM, the blonde behind her in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****).”
The first blonde replies, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! you are wrong, Its 1258″
i read it on YA long ago it goes (u might know it )
how do you keep a blonde entertained for hours ?
scroll down
then scroll up
A blonde decide’s that she wants to go to Disneyland. Before reaching it, she hits a cross roads. Looking at the sign at the side of the road it says :
‘Disneyland, left’
The blonde went home…..
Brunette: oh no! my b.f sent flowers. Now I will have 2 keep my legs in the air for 2 wks,
Blonde: don’t u have a flower vase?
What’s a blonde and a plane got in common?
They’ve both got black boxes
What’s a blondes idea of safe sex?
Locking the car doors
.
What does a blonde say after she graduates?
“Welcome to Macdonalds”
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps,the other is a walrus
Why did the blonde climb to the top of the glass wall
To see what was on the other side
Why was the blonde so happy she finished a 50 pc. puzzle in 6 months? Because the box said 3 yrs.+
Q: How do you drown a blonde?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>…
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool
Lol
Q: How do you know a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: There’s lipstick on the cucumber.
What you call a blonde that dyes their hair brown?
Artificial Intelligence
How do you keep a blonde is suspense?
It takes two blondes to put in a light bulb , one to to hold it & the other to turn the ladder.
ahahah
why did the blonde get mad at the DMV
She got an “F” in sex
how many blondes does it take 2 screw a lightbulb? none they only screw in cars! bhahaha.yo.
Blondes are not called “Dumb Blondes” They are mentally challeged or mentally retarted.
blonde jokes are stupid.
how can you like prove blondes are dumb because of their hair colour?